Starting Over… More ways than one.

I logged onto wordpress today to find my blog gone! All of it, just gone. I don’t know what happen, or when it happened. So I guess this is my first post.

In many ways it is fitting for me to start a new here. Let me take you back almost a year now.

SCBCreations had started to get moving. I was being invited to shows, getting online sales, had great production numbers and had my stuff in a small retail shop. I could see this was starting to be something I could make a real go at. I was working crazy hours but it was worth the momentum I had started to build.

In November of last year I went in to the doctors. I was having some issues with my left breast and I was sore. I had pain in my body like I had never felt. She ran some test and send me in for a mammogram, I had been having issues with that breast for years. The pain problem was found after just a few blood test, my D level was almost nil. And they started me on a D3 supplement once a week.

I was set up for a mammogram and was told over and over by doctors friends and family about scares so and so had. It helped get me over the few days leading up to my appointment. I grabbed a girlfriend and went to the clinic. First the mammogram, even I could see the breast were not the same, but I was sure it was nothing. They took me into the ultrasound room and ran more test. The tech did the normal, I have to look at this and will be right back.

I remember looking at the ceiling, noticing the different textures and patterns as the door opened. The tech came in followed by three long faces. I felt tears in my eyes before they even started the introductions. They told me their names and almost scripted told me that I needed a biopsy of my left breast. Gave me a bunch of paperwork that released them of fault if I did not follow up, made the appointment for a surgeon and sent me on my way.

I was stunned, but still trying to think of all the ladies who had come before me to this point and found nothing. I went home and started looking on the web for more information and to find out just what my medical would cover. My dad had gotten wonderful treatment down at Mayo for cancer and if there was a little chance that was what I was dealing with I knew I wanted to be there.

I found out I would be covered and made my appointment for what I thought would be a second opinion by the time I got there. I kept my appointment with the doctor in the cities I figured I would get checked and get my biopsy before I went to Mayo. NO….

This doctor, oh this doctor. He came in and started off telling me it did not look like anything to worry about. “It has more than likely been growing there for 20 years”… I am thinking but I am only 39. He then told me how he thought he could “get it all” but he would more than likely leave my breast deformed. Can you say shock? I don’t think I said more than yes and no for the next half hour. Deform me, for nothing? That did not make sense to me.

Again more paperwork, some soap so I can wash before the surgery (not sure what I pay the hospital for), and a promise of a call to get it all set up. Get a check up and we will be in touch. I don’t remember leaving the doctors office that day. I don’t remember driving my car. I was stunned. What was going on in my body, when would I know and who was gonna give me the answer?

I think I cried 8 hours a day waiting to get down to Mayo. I was still trying to hold on to the thought of how many woman find nothing. But so much to find out it is nothing.

I must say Mayo was a different world. The doctors at the breast center not only wanted to find out what was wrong with that left breast but what was going on in the rest of my body. “You are too young to be this sick” she told me. So I was set up to see different departments and check out the rest of my body while we waited to find out about the big question.

3 solid days down at Mayo. Running from the start of the day to the end. By the time I left the had done needle biopsy twice on my left breast (large area), my left lymph nodes, my thyroid and my right breast. I felt like a pin cushion (I will have new respect when I sew now) but I would have my answers soon. On December 23rd we got the full read. No cancer in the right breast or thyroid, however I had aggressive stage 0 DCIS, more than 1/4th of my breast but less than 1/3rd on the left side. We had talked a lot about my options before I had left the clinic so I knew what we were going to do, she just needed to hear my choice.

“Lets go for the bi-lateral mastectomy with reconstruction” I told her. The right breast was not cancer, but it was large and starting to look bad so she was in full agreement and really thought it was the best plan of attack given the aggressiveness of the cancer and my young age. She said she would get things going and I would get a call about my next round of appointments.

Christmas eve and Christmas day I was in a blur. I had no clue what was gonna happen to me, to my family, I had no clue about anything. I just kept hearing that word…..cancer..cancer  Oh how I hate cancer, makes way too many people sick. Takes too much for some great people.

My surgery was set up for February and all I did from the New Year till then was run back and forth to Mayo. I did a study on my form of cancer using chemo pills. They kicked my butt, I was only on them for 6 weeks but wow. I have new found respect for people who are on them for months or take IV chemo. I still feel some effects from the pills.

I would get out and walk each day, some days I did not feel like it, but I had read it would help with the recovery from surgery. Plus if I put in my earbuds I could turn my brain off for a bit, and that was an important thing to do during the days waiting for my surgery.

My surgery went fine. I have one more this next month and that will basically be the end of reconstruction. So it is time to start back to life, back to my company and I guess back to my blog!

I have started back up my Artfire shop, it is not pro, that went away during this too. I hope to have my pro shop back soon! As of now it is just photography that I am able to offer. My sewing room is not set back up and I have a few items to replace before I can get into the full swing. I hope in the next 6 months to a year to be back at my pre cancer level!

Check out the photos in my shop… SCBCreations @ Artfire


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